Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Top Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down …

by David Letterman
(or should I say, the comedic geniuses that write for him)

10. The cucumber has left the salad.
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars … but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.

And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped…..
(insert drumroll here)
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Jose Can You See?

... That goddamn left hook comin' about 20 seconds in on the clip?? Vai Sikahema went off on Jose.. Stephen A sounded like he had a nice glass of Haterade in the clip though..kinda annoyin' actually.. not for nuttin' but he'll never be Stuart Scott.. As for Jose, he shouldn't quit his day job as a writer..

Friday, July 11, 2008

Big Pun: The Legacy

New York International Latino Film Festival
Thursday, July 24 | 09:30 PM
The Directors Guild Theater
110 West 57th Street (Between 6th & 7th Avenues)

*If this festival wasn't all Tribeca with they prices I'da been copped my tickets.. 20 yacks per ticket is unreasonable I think.. but I might make the exception for the god..

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I Shot Ya..

This was taken like 3 months ago.. I had just copped my nikon d40 and I was on my paparazzi ish.. I might do some corny pic a day ish on a separate blog just to document how wack my photography skills are..

Monday, July 7, 2008

Because I'm a Man..

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. The AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of Holy Communion.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t a problem.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “cumin” or “tofu.” For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which ”feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism. ( F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice and not a bodily function).

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)…applies to engineers mainly.

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or sport. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t ask.

Because I’m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother’s Day is okay; I don’t need to see it. And don’t forget to pick up something for my mother too.

Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t…and if you are feeling amorous afterwards…then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I’m a man, , after all, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest… like looking for my socks, or wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Off Day..

Ok this is just to show yall even on a national holiday I can put in work.. (even if it is only a 30 second post..) aight I'm off to actually live life.. hopefully I wont see a computer for 2 days..

Wednesday, July 2, 2008